10 Practical Ways to Pass As White

Cinemulatto is confident the U.S. Supreme Court will do the right thing when it decides on marriage equality. Until then, if a gay person wanted to engage in some act of national freedom such as, say, taking a cross-country trip through states supporting at least civil unions, a path could be reasonably made (if one assumes speeding through Utah and Nebraska, then taking a detour through Canada).

Mulattoes have a similar liberty! Having long ago earned the right to marry whomever we want (as far as race goes, at any rate), we now have sure-fire ways to safely straddle the social fence between black and white. We’re taking Cultural Frame Switching to a new level—and officially recognizing things a fun-loving mulatto can do to pass as white.

Stay tuned for future tips for passing as black.

  1. At office mixers, talk boldly about the thread count on sheets.
  2. Lose any hint of an accent. Practice diction.
  3. Engage your white friends in discussion on high-interest savings.
  4. Share made-up stories with strangers about a past summer job in upstate New York.
  5. Make up further stories about a childhood pet rock collection.
  6. Attend a ragtime festival. Take pictures and post to social media sites.
  7. Go fruit picking while wearing a sun hat and oversized shorts.
  8. Tend a flower garden during times of high foot traffic.
  9. Read Winning Chess Tactics on public transportation.
  10. Take up snag fishing.

MULATTO OF THE MONTH: WENTWORTH MILLER

Half-white Miller

We’ve mentioned him several times on the Cinemulatto Facebook page. When it comes to passing, Wentworth’s claim to fame is playing a white man on a television prison drama. A prison drama, where he plays a building engineer who holds up a bank to get thrown into prison on purpose to save his brother.

Who better to play this role than a mulatto?

Screenwriter, actor, model, producer, and Tigertone, this month we celebrate a man whose hand can almost cover the entire top of his head.