The White Man’s Battalion

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Study after study shows that implicit bias is alive and well in America. We have teachers who punish black students more than whites, folks who think “black”-sounding names belong to someone violent, and professors who favor white males over, well, everyone else.

Let’s admit it. Racism is a blood-soaked thorn in the nation’s side.

To be fair, we have to define what we mean by “whites,” especially as we’ll use it here, since someone will inevitably brandish the “not all white people” defense. More specifically, we should define the “white voter,” since this is the person we’re ultimately targeting in this article. Well, not all white voters….

In Brown Is the New White, Steve Phillips writes:

“It is useful, and more or less accurate, to think of America’s White population as divided into roughly equal thirds. We’re not talking about mathematically precise 33-33-percent segments, mind you, but broadly speaking, three large chunks of White folks. One-third can be classified as progressive, one-third as solidly conservative, and one-third in the middle … About one-third of Whites have generally tried to side with and stand for justice for people of color.”

We’re interested in just one of these thirds. Progressives, we’re looking at you.

There’s been a lot of chatter—both online and in newly mobilized political action groups—about the best way to put the country back on a progressive course. One piece of the narrative goes something like this:

     “We have to talk to Trump supporters.”

     “We have to reach across the aisle.”

     “The Democrats should be out talking to Trump supporters.”

We’re also hearing things like:

     “The Democratic Party is beyond repair.”

     “This is the DNC’s fault.”

These are quotes I’ve heard directly—from mostly white men.

Here’s what Cinemulatto proposes: in addition to everything else we’re doing to move the country left, let’s consider all of the above and advocate for a White Man’s Battalion.

Imagine. What if some of us assume the Democratic Party alone can’t pull it together by the 2018 midterm elections? What if white voters by and large display the same bias of certain professors, teachers, and many others, and aren’t as convinced by people of color exhorting them to vote in their own interest? What if “reaching across the aisle” becomes an effective weapon in our nonviolent arsenal to help swing the country left?

The best person to do this is the white progressive male (WPM).

Dear WPMs: Don’t wait for the Democratic Party. Certainly don’t wait for the sudden rise of a magical third party or an existing, ineffectual one to somehow leap ahead of the centuries-old brands of Democrat and Republican (maybe Democratic Socialist—maybe).

Organize. Book your flights, hotel rooms, and Airbnb vacations, and hit the Midwestern and southern states. Descend upon bars, hotel restaurants, sporting events, fishing holes, golf courses, auto shops, shooting ranges, fast food joints, construction sites, Walmarts, unemployment offices, trailer parks, prefabs, and wherever else white Republican men and women assemble—preferably those getting burned by the current administration.

Then, reach across the aisle. Talk to people and hear their concerns. Do the ground work of showing them how the government screws them over. If the percentage of people who know someone gay can skyrocket from 25 in 1985 to 74 in 2000, let’s use that same tactic. “Come out” to your white brethren and form the emotional bond that’ll win them over to our side. They just might listen to you.

You can do this. We’re rooting for you.

 

Here’s What I Plan to Tell My Daughter About Trump’s Win

peaceloveequalityWhile my 4-year-old daughter still sleeps, before I tell her anything, I’ll take stock of what happens for me now—mourn for however long it takes, because mourning is a natural and expected part of healing. Mourn until sadness has run its course. Stay down until the emotional time is right to get back up. Accept the outcome and try to understand why so many white, working class people who voted for Obama and hope in 2008 and 2012 switched this time around, and voted for someone peddling hatred and despair. Try and place myself in their shoes to the extent that I can.

When she finally wakes up—perhaps yelling out for Mommy and Mama from the comfort of her warm bed, or running into the kitchen hugging her loyal Minnie Mouse doll—and asks about the election results, I’ll tell her Donald Trump won. That this is okay. I’ll hug her and let her know we live in a country that thankfully allows us to vote every two years, plus every four years, and that there are millions of people, our family included, who will continue working for justice and equality in America, who seek to understand the sources of difference and divisiveness, who want to bring people together. That if we keep trying, we can do anything, no matter how long it takes. We’ll celebrate our big local and state victories—our district supervisory race, the U.S. Senate, and measures to ensure a better quality of life for many, many people.

I’ll tell her that Hillary Clinton brought a lot of people together, and I’ll let her know how smart, hard working, and kind she is. I’ll tell her that Donald Trump gave a nice acceptance speech, because “nice” is language a 4-year-old can relate to and run with. I’ll tell her that the best possible thing we can do when we’re feeling sad is to let ourselves have our feelings, then get back up and do the necessary things to continue making our city, our country, and the world a wonderful and just place.

Then, when the dust settles and the grief passes from the stages of my denial, anger, and sadness into our family’s promise and ability to keep going, and our acceptance of the status quo, we’ll do what so many of our mentors, role models, and heroes have always done—keep moving forward. Plan, build, and bind. Get back up.

Faith-Based Charity:
Personal Material, Political Art, and Creative License

In 2005, I created a 16mm short film, Faith-Based Charity, which premiered at the San Francisco International LGBT Film Festival. Having thought for many years how about I would ever capture anything of the relationship I had with my mother, I settled primarily on the power of make-believe, fabricating an unlikely scenario between a young white woman and an older black mother.

It became much easier to couch the story in the sociopolitical terms of race, class, and age, while staying true to the overall motifs of loss, sacrifice, the often strange havens we create for ourselves, and mental and emotional well-being.

Interestingly, this was the last film I created with a mostly male crew. It was a positive experience and everyone I worked with was fantastic. Still, it was a turning point for me. In the downstairs area we used as a green room, where my wife spent most of her time alone to stay focused and prep for each scene, I realized that despite the personal material and the wonderful time I had coaching my wife in her role, there was definitely something missing. Or, something I wanted more of, which was the feeling I had creating something with my wife—not only a sense of being held by and holding a community, but being able to bring more of a community feel to a movie set in general.

Since then, my movie sets have been more like gatherings. I hope it shows in the work I create. Perhaps the set of Faith-Based Charity was indeed the start of a small “something larger,” and now I always strive to not only harmonize content and form, but to also view story as process, and to value cast and crew as community.

 

Are We in the Middle of the Next Black Renaissance?

BlackLivesMatterIn The New Jim Crow, author and legal scholar Michelle Alexander charts the history of different Black rights movements in the United States, and the counter-efforts that rolled back important social, political, and cultural advances that these movements engendered.

Reconstruction followed slavery, but Jim Crow stymied further attempts at Black liberation and social betterment. The Civil Rights Movement ended Jim Crow, only for poor Blacks to face stringent tough-on-crime laws and the War on Drugs, leaving one in every 15 Black men incarcerated.

Now, we have Black Lives Matter. More people are learning about the racial disparities of our prison system, our jobs, our schools, and other institutions. At the same time, musicians like Kendrick Lamar and Beyoncé are creating unapologetic pro-Black music and videos, powered by young masterminds like Kahlil Joseph and Warsan Shire.

In journalism, TV, fiction, and film, Ta-Nehisi Coates continues the legacy of James Baldwin, while Hilton Als, Ava Duvernay, Jacqueline Woodson, Edward P. Jones, Viola Davis, Kerry Washington, Channing Dungey, and so many others lead the current surge of Black creativity and power.

We’re also in a period of hyper-awareness. Not only do more and more people protest Hollywood’s continued casting of non-white roles with white actors — we’ve now upped the ante and gone even deeper, debating the casting of such roles as Zoe Saldana as Nina Simone. At the same time, we’re still seeing so many Black firsts in healthcare, in government, and in such uncommon headlines as Warren Shadd and his achievement of being the first Black piano manufacturer.

Despite recurring periods of cultural, political, and social forces repelling and subjugating it, Black culture in the United States has always gone underground, revived, and then resurged. Are we now experiencing another confluence all at once — a cultural, political, and artistic renaissance?

I touched base with several Black writers, actors, activists, and intellectuals — even a soul food critic — and asked: are we in the middle of the next Black Renaissance?

Ernest Waddell, Actor

Ernest on IMDB

I think we’re in a time where the US is becoming more tolerant of Black excellence and Black ideas. And maybe as a result, there are now more Black people who are willing to take more creative risks. I also think the Internet has given all people more of a voice. The creative renaissance of 50 years ago, 20 years ago even, seems limited to accessibility.

Rebecca Kent, Documentary Producer, Plus Pictures and CBS News

The Black Panthers, Vanguard of the Revolution

With the heightened awareness of acts of police brutality and daily acts of social injustice, we have seemingly arrived at a tipping point in Black culture which has increased Black cultural production. We’re living in a time ripe with unapologetic expression against systems of oppression through politics, song, film, and art. From Kendrick Lamar’s To Pimp a Butterfly to Beyoncé’s Formation, artists and artistic expression have taken on a more radical tone.

While Formation has of course inspired numerous critical essays listing its merits and deficiencies, one thing is clear — it has caused much conversation and debate. Her song provided the perfect vehicle to reach the masses and infiltrate popular culture, to initiate conversations and to hopefully affect change.

Adrian Miller, Soul Food Scholar

Adrian’s website

There’s definitely more interest in African American cuisine these days, but not where one would expect. Of the various riffs on traditional soul food, the most creative energy comes from those cooking vegan soul food. That’s right, no meat with your greens, and no dairy in all of those glorious desserts. Also, the hottest soul food spot in the world is . . . Paris, France! Just in the last two weeks, I’ve gotten interview requests from French media about soul food. This fascinates me because soul food still gets a mixed reception in its home country because many see it as inherently unhealthy and essentially slave food unworthy of celebration. It’s like the 1920s all over again.

Adrienne Kennedy, Playwright

Adrienne’s blog

Do not see a Renaissance coming.

It strikes me that when my husband and I came to New York in January 1955, and he was in grad school at Columbia and I took a few writing courses at the New School, etc., that we were in a Renaissance.

Perhaps it was because I was young — Hansberry Ellison Baldwin Brooks were all to follow. …….the Village overflowed with Miles Charlie Mingus midtown Birdland Joe Williams Dizzy Count Basie and so many more. Poitier arrived at the movies.   ………but paramount was the attitude toward young blacks. our age…….the world seemed far more in tune to us and all of the above as. people. Now always we are this entity African Americans…… …..  and this antecedent.  ….increasingly by American Society seems to carry a burdensome troublesome meaning……….about us.

We are not heading toward a Renaissance. I cannot see this. No matter what our brilliance we are chained to these old definitions. A Renaissance it would seem to me has to be a world that has
rid itself of those old clichés before the new can flourish …and be defined as such. Still.

no definition. is needed for Louis Armstrong. and I cling to no definition just infinite struggle.

Adrienne Kennedy

Nafis White, MFA Candidate Digital + Media, Rhode Island School of DesigN

Nafis’ website

“Are we in the middle of the next Black Renaissance?”

When I was first asked this question I thought, well of course we’re in a Black Renaissance, because we’re seeing blackness in all its beauty all around us, all the time, and ain’t that glorious!!! To see all this representation and to see all this artistry growing where it wasn’t before, or perhaps we may think it wasn’t prevalent before.

Somewhere between the 1920s and the 1980s not much was happening, or was it? But then I got to thinking about the Black Arts Movement of the 1960s, and the New Black Renaissance of the present day, and about why I feel that all of a sudden there’s such a crop of talent the world over, of melanin-laden, blessed women and men doing the damn thing.

I started wondering about representation and about what was happening in the 60’s and 70’s with Black Art and who the players were then. We had Melvin Edwards, Betye Saar, Adrian Piper, David Hammons, Fred Wilson, Senga Nengudi, Maren Hassinger, Noah Purifoy, Glenn Ligon, and a host of others, yet these artists, though credited now, were not widely recognized then, and some might argue that they’re still not widely known or given their due.

I recall seeing a stirring exhibition while in New York at PS1 in 2013, called “Now Dig This! Art and Black Los Angeles,” curated by Kellie Jones, Associate Professor in the Department of Art History and Archaeology, Columbia University, and I felt that all of a sudden, Black artists had been made visible who weren’t there in my lexicon and my life before, and it saddened me that these prolific artists were just under the radar.

Through reading Double Consciousness: Black Conceptual Art since 1970, I discovered some unknown players and kept adding to my knowledge of Black greats all across the scene. I love Jean-Michel Basquiat, but there are so many more people that should be made available, visible to us, and this exhibition and book got me looking and questioning why these brilliant people were absent to me for so long, especially as a fine artist who is part of the African Diaspora.

Why a Black Renaissance, and why now? We have so many gifted Black artists on the scene and so many up and coming. There is Toyin Odutola, Simone Leigh, Sanford Biggers, Carrie Mae Weems, Yinka Shonibare, Hank Willis Thomas, and Jacolby Satterwhite, Juliana Huxtable, and Niv Acosta and so, so, so many more hundreds of brilliant beings doing what they love and making immense gains and inspiring us all.

Carrie Mae Weems, from Kitchen Table Series, 1990
Carrie Mae Weems, from The Kitchen Table Series

I feel that the reason why we’re so acutely aware of all these talented people now has a lot to do with social media and the transference of information across the Internet. We have so much access and are able to find talent everywhere with a few searches.

Decades ago, you may have had to follow a crowd to find Hammons or Saar, or be in the know with curators or museums, or get lucky through word of mouth and underground artist communities. Now, you can reach out and find your artist family so much more easily. Technology allows us to make connections and collaborations so much more readily.

So, the answer to the question of, are we in the middle of the next Black Renaissance is yes, a resounding YES!, all the while knowing that there was an enormous amount of Black pioneers making art back in the day, in the 60’s and 70’s and 80’s. We don’t know many as household names because they weren’t widely sold, represented, or known, but that doesn’t mean they weren’t there or that they are forever gone from memory. They can be found.

Now, we thankfully can find artists more easily, and we can celebrate them while they are still alive. That is one of the many gifts of technology — we get to be a little closer while we’re all here on this wonderful planet. Don’t know Kerry James Marshall? Get in touch. Barely heard of Theaster Gates? Betta look him up. Curious about Faith Ringgold? That beautiful sister is still walking this Earth. Didn’t know Betye Saar had a daughter named Alison? Who, what?? You guessed it, she’s an artist. Get into them!!

James Rucker, Co-Founder, Color of Change

James at Netroots Nation

Are we in the midst of a Black Renaissance? The answer in my view is yes, absolutely. From my youth through today, a period spanning approximately 40 years, me and most other Black Americans approached change-making with a degree of measure, and a willingness to make do — to push the envelope of culture to fight for inclusion and increasing justice, but not too much.

Sure, you had front-line activism and pockets of pushback, but the intellectual class would be split between marginalized revolutionary types (marginalized by essentially every quarter, white, Black, and otherwise) and those who sought to make change happen, largely within certain bounds set and blessed by mainstream society. There was the balancing act of acceptance of things as they were, on one hand, and pushing for change on the other.

Today is a different day, due in large part, I think, to younger folks who’ve taken a fresh look at our country’s history — including not only the plight of Black people but others who’ve been poorly served or oppressed — then taking stock of the status quo and what justice should look like, and then demanding step-wise, not gradual, change towards justice.

I recall as a young software engineer, wanting to bring in more Black engineers into companies in which I worked but at the same time was careful to not rock the boat and attempt to bring in too many. Contrast this with a lawyer I met few years ago who is part of a well-known high-flying startup’s legal team. In response to boss’ goal of diversification, he brought in only Black lawyers for interviews to fill a set of open positions. When questioned about why all the candidates he brought in were Black, he explained that if the company wanted diversity, he was going to bring it. He was playing from a different playbook.

Similarly, after nearly a decade of running and supporting political organizations that both worked on the inside and outside of government, with arguably the most aggressive large-scale campaigns in existence, I saw young organizers throwing down with unapologetic ferocity, dismissing the idea of respectability politics, yet operating with a clear sense of strategy, context, and history. I believed I was witnessing a reinvention of the playbook for creating political and social change.

I’m talking of Black Lives Matter and similar efforts, which risked a backlash from other Black people, and certainly most non-Black Americans. Yet they are withstanding the backlash, changing the perception of what is possible and appropriate and embracing intersectionality (for them, it’s not about Black people alone, but freedom and love of humanity across the board). And there are hundreds of these folks, if not more — powerful organizers who are connected and operating within the same paradigm.

For the last few generations, Black Americans have operated within a context of extreme injustice, yet being largely polite. This despite our communities having been decimated by racist policies that affect mobility, dignity, and freedom, as well as the simple ability to live stable and happy lives. In the face of that, we have been taught — and reflected back to each other — that success is to withstand it and attempt incremental change.

It isn’t just the set of groups and efforts that fall within the Movement for Black Lives, or what may seem to be a new frontline of activism. That’s simply one facet of the kind of change in front of us. The rise of public intellectuals like Ta-Nehisi Coates, Michelle Alexander, journalists like Shaun King — people who have gained a strong prominent voice both in the eyes of Black America and people of conscience within American in general — is testament to something bigger. And while there has been backlash, for sure, progressive white Americans are being given a more accurate report card of the state of affairs in America than has ever been present during my lifetime.

And while the work of this community of activists, intellectuals, artists, and funders, is centered on Black liberation, the landscape of problems and the push for solutions is broader. There is a critique of systems of oppression, whomever they oppress, and it is anchored by the notion of human liberation.

Activists often quote the words of Assata Shakur: “It is our duty to fight for our freedom. It is our duty to win. We must love each other and support each other. We have nothing to lose but our chains.” On the one hand, this is about those taking major risks to achieve change speaking to each other, but I’ve repeatedly witnessed these activists speaking of their desire for increased humanity and freedom for all — even for those who are in opposition, and who are part of maintaining the status quo, actively or passively.

And these voices, these Black Americans, not only speak to a new view of liberation, but they themselves largely embody it in their individual and collective identities. For them, it’s not just that who is in the fold of being loved and deserving of justice is broad, but some of the most powerful voices are LGBTQ, female, and young (and often a combination) who are not only dedicated to Black liberation, but human liberation, and beyond the borders of the United States.

Aimee Allison, Author and Activist

Aimee’s website

We are in a Black Renaissance, and it is led by Black women. Look at the freedom in hair styles, large and creative. Hear the powerful voices leading the Civil Rights movement of our day, demanding accountability from candidates, entertainers, the masses. Make them say the names of those abused and killed on the state’s dime.

There isn’t a hint of pleading, or relying on a better moral nature. It heeds Shirley Chisholm’s call to demand power directly. It draws in people from communities who themselves have suffered. Our Renaissance unifies. See how women won’t play second to any man, including Black men who expected race to be more important than being a women.

Nope, it’s intersectional all the time, and this Renaissance embraces the nuance of identity on the scales of race and sex and sexuality. Notice that we’re stronger because we lead nuance. Pick up a copy of Claudia Rankine’s Citizen, and her sparse, powerful words lead a national struggle to understand what it’s like to live under racism daily. It’s a bestseller for a reason.

And read this: Black women have the highest voter turnout of any race, any gender, any group of voters. We have the power to choose presidents now. But we’ve been the most ignored power block.

Our new-style Black power comes when we tell the Democrats that we won’t let our backs be the path to the White House without our vision, our change, our leadership. Our voices are no longer silent or stigmatized as Bill Clinton found out when he tried to “Sistah Soldier” Black Lives Matter protesters last month. That doesn’t fly in this Black Renaissance.

We’re bold now, with many voices, many leaders. We define trends on Twitter. We can do a collective take-down fast when racism tries to pull a fast one. It’s ‘no more White tears’ and ‘it’s not for you.’ Yes, an amazing time to be Black in America because despite it all, we’re finding new strength, courage, and influence.

Aimee Allison’s new book, She the People: The New Politics of Women of Color, is out in September 2016.

 

3 Reasons Why People Should Talk Politics on Social Media

Over 14% of the entire world is on Facebook. Let that sink in for a minute….

And on and on. That’s not including Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, or Snapchat. So, it’s safe to say that a huge chunk of the world is on social media.

What does this mean for political discourse? Many folks get quite riled up during online discussions — and social media has brought out the worst of the trolls. The result of such conversations includes but is not limited to anger, hatred, obsession, and night sweats.

Be that as it may, Cinemulatto believes the statistics provide three reasons why we should all be talking about politics on social media.

This is the “national discourse” we’ve been waiting for.

Hell, it’s the international discourse. Although the posts we see tend to align with our political views, if we happen to comment, share, or like anything that “the other side” posts, there’s a strong likelihood we’ll start seeing that side’s news and views.

Didn’t our college Feminism 101, Ethnic Studies, and Political Science courses all stress the importance of “national dialogue”? With 14% of the world on Facebook, for instance, isn’t this the best (and only) possible place to engage in such dialogue with potentially hundreds of friends and non-friends, instead of a 10-student discussion section?

The algorithm knows.

Social media knows what evils lurks in the hearts of men (and women, and tweens, and marketers). Again, from the info above, we know that our social media activity informs the posts that show up in our feed. The more we discuss, the more likely we are to get more information on the politics shaping the status quo, for better or worse.

I was recently castigated on Facebook for having only three Republican friends in the non-social media ‘real world’. In a rare moment of unbridled comment anger, I cursed him out then blocked him (insert self-satisfied emoticon here). The unpleasant and woebegone asshole claimed that communicating with Republicans on social media didn’t count.

Do Republicans stop being people once they start typing? Is Facebook not representative of the general population? (Stating here for the third time: 14%.)

When all is said and done, it’s okay to weed people out.

Like so many others on social media, I’ve gotten back in touch with people from the past I might never have otherwise encountered again. These include people from high school. Relatives I haven’t seen since childhood. People I never knew existed but I now know are family members, or friends, or kindred social media spirits.

The odds, then, of interacting with people who have more differences than commonalities are dramatically increased. Another thing that skyrockets: the chances of finding out that someone who you trusted, respected, or even loved holds beliefs that you find rotten to the core. When this happens, it’s disappointing at best and distressing at worst. Still, perhaps without such open discussion, we’d never know what “lurks within”.

I’ll keep talking politics on social media. At the very, very least, it keeps my brain active and makes me think about that other side. Trolls be damned.

 

 

 

They Aren’t Riots, They’re Rebellions

The Harlem Riots of 1964

Before a single black person ever set foot on American soil, there was police brutality. Seized from their loved ones, rounded up and herded, and forced to endure the unspeakable cruelties of the Middle Passage, before and from day one, black lives were brutalized, dehumanized, and “kept in their place.”

Despite the Emancipation Proclamation, Reconstruction, Civil Rights Movement, and a black president, some of the same structures are still in place, ones that served to oppress an entire people. In all of the online and media discussions of racism, riots, and police brutality, it’s important to remember, recognize, and raise those voices that continually remind us that our nation continues to exist on a continuum.

The first police forces in black communities were slave drivers and overseers. White “slave patrols” were employed solely for the purpose of policing slaves and capturing runaways. The first “riots” were slave rebellions; leaders like Nat Turner, or slaves armed with hand tools in the 1811 German Coast Uprising, were killed and suppressed by white militias and/or the U.S. armed forces. Drapetomania, long since debunked, was defined as a mental illness that caused black slaves to flee captivity.

This long history of blaming the black victim, dishing out sentences not commensurate to the crime, and holding black lives to a different standard than white ones (where you can lose your life for selling cigarettes illegally, or walking in the middle of the street, or sitting in a car), must come to bear in any discussion of what’s happening in Baltimore, and what happened in Harlem in 1935 (or 1943, or 1964), or 1967 in Newark, or Baltimore in 1968, or any other place in America where African Americans dared to rebel against police brutality, poverty, and being fed up.

In his autobiographical novel, Manchild in the Promised Land, Claude Brown writes of blacks moving from the post-slavery South to the “promised land” of the North, only to find “one of the most important aspects of the promised land: it was a slum ghetto.” Yes, African Americans have made great strides. Yes, there are more African American men in college than in jail. Yes, we have more African Americans in positions of power, on boards and in boardrooms, and signing multi-million-dollar contracts than ever before. Still, the seemingly intractable problem of American racism is one that, until we solve it, will mean that we’re far, far away from a post-racial society.

So, the next time anyone tells you that slavery is over, that those participating in protest—whether it’s violent or peaceful—are “thugs,” remind them of the continuum. This is our history, the ugly blemish on our culture that we seem unable to make go away. Until those in power—both politically and culturally—recognize it for what it is and take steps to help solve the many related issues from the ground up (poverty, lack of opportunity, institutionalized racism…the list goes on), there’s gonna be a whole lotta burnin’ goin’ on.

 

A Few Notes on Forgiveness

Eva Kor

Happy 2015. It’s been awhile. I haven’t posted to this blog since November 26th, but I took a much-needed, end-of-year break to recuperate from multiple film productions and the ongoing physical and emotional demands of parenting.

However—I’ve been thinking about history, my own past, and my place in the genetic cosmos. In the process, I’ve also been continuing to contemplate the nature of forgiveness. When I studied abroad at Stanford in Oxford in the spring of 1990, I dated a young man whom we’ll call Peter (since that was his name). Whenever I stayed over at his place, he’d be up bright and early, and would leave way before I woke up. I finally asked him about this and he said his early morning trips were to the library, to “look for answers.”

I thought he was weird.

Now, so many years later, I’m in the middle of my own search for “answers.” It seems this has been accompanied by a mid-life crisis that’s been going on for about the last 20 years—or maybe not so much a crisis as an awakening. Or maybe I’m mistaking it for my Peruvian ayahuasca experience.

Whatever the cause, I find myself living life not necessarily as if each day is my last, but definitely with an awareness that each moment is filled with its own poetry. It’s a hyperawareness, a need to stay calm most of the time so that I don’t overwhelm anybody. I asked my psychotherapist wife recently if there’s such a thing as low-level bipolar disorder. She said yes.

I’ve posted here before about both my mother and my father, and about how I’ve largely forgiven my father for cruelties to my mother—hitting her, throwing water into her face, subjecting her to daily invective. Since then, I keep having flashbacks to moments of my father’s kindness I didn’t recognize as such at the time:

  • I used to collect aluminum cans in a bag, and every so often, my father would gather them, roll a cement block over to them, and crush the cans flat. We’d travel together to the local recycling center, where he’d give me the cash from my saved cans.
  • A staple for kids growing up in the 1970s was the Scholastic Book Club and their paper order forms jam-packed with a wide variety of children’s books. Whenever I brought the flyer home, my father would let me order whatever books I wanted (there must’ve been a limit). On book delivery day, he’d be there in the classroom, cash in hand, with a wide grin.
  • The first memory I have of my mother’s schizophrenia probably dates back to 1971 or 1972. I didn’t understand why she was standing on the other side of the room, acting so strangely. I know my younger brother wasn’t born yet. My older brother and I sat on our couch, our dad in the middle with an arm around each of us. I felt scared and protected at the same time.

The media would have us see things as clearly black or white—this or that, good or bad, either with us or against us. We’ve largely become a society of very little gray area, uncertainty, or “it depends”. We’d rather argue in absolutes.

I used to have absolute hatred for my father before maturing to the point of absolutely understanding he was a human being.

There have been far greater acts of mercy than what I’m going through with him. Eva Kor and The Forgiveness Project come to mind. If someone can forgive the men who, during the Holocaust, used human beings as lab rats, then I have no excuse for not making peace with my father. The memories that keep rolling in make it much easier.

Like Eva Cor, I haven’t forgotten, but I’ve forgiven.

 

Let Us Now Praise
Michael Brown

Like so many others this week, I feel angered, saddened, and almost defeated by the non-indictment of Darren Wilson for his murder of Michael Brown. People are taking to the streets, to social media, to workplace and public debate.

At the same time, Bill Cosby shares race-fueled headlines. Party People—a play about the legacy of the Black Panthers and current questions of solidarity, the sociopolitical climate, and “armchair activism”—continues at Berkeley Rep to sold-out, mostly white audiences. I saw it with my wife last Friday night. I’m also in the middle of reading
Let Us Now Praise Famous Men, James Agee’s 1936 poetic exploration of the lives of three poor, white Alabama sharecropper families that he conducted with FSA photographer Walker Evans. They never told their subjects their intentions or that they were media men; they didn’t provide them with a copy of the completed book, much less payment or royalties.

In sum, I’m a big mess. But if we’ve learned anything from suffragettes, the Civil Rights Movement, the Student Movement, and any movement geared toward leveling the playing field for the disenfranchised, it’s that we can never give up. If we do, “they” win.

As a parent of two who’s admittedly afraid of getting hurt and otherwise a big old large-crowd wuss, I’m not protesting in the streets. There is a vital need for loud, large-scale protest, even if I don’t and can’t participate. Activism comes in varied forms.

I can at times be that armchair activist, who, after spirited polemics on social media and carefully considered arguments with friends and co-workers, signs petitions and calls elected representatives. These efforts seem in vain after another brown life has been lost. What else, I ask myself, can I do?

Martin Luther King said, “I have the audacity to believe that people everywhere can have three meals a day for their bodies, education and culture for the minds and dignity, equality and freedom for their spirits.” So, I commit to working from the ground up, to greater action in the ways I best know how. Here’s my plan for trying to affect change in small ways, with the understanding that progress is often the sum of its parts.

  1. Create a documentary that examines the lives of three contemporary families living on the margins, but pay the participants, self-distribute, and have all proceeds go to the families. Hire people from the communities in which the three families live.
  2. Periodically go through my possessions and give them away instead of taking them to places like Goodwill or Salvation Army.
  3. Volunteer to read books to underserved kids.
  4. Hire an intern from an underserved community to work on my films, and pay them.
  5. Organize healthy food drives (see http://www.superfooddrive.org/resources/healthy-food-drive/).
  6. Donate to causes that provide food, educational opportunity, cultural engagement, and avenues of dignity to underserved youth.
  7. Subsidize a youth’s trip to go see a socially relevant play, movie, or art exhibit.
  8. Take a family in need out to a meal.
  9. Take another family in need clothes shopping.
  10. Stretch goal: Raise funds to sponsor someone’s health insurance premiums for a year, preferably a family.
  11. Other stretch goal: Go through the list again and again. Add to it, refine, and grow it into something that’s part of who I am and how I exist in the world.

I’ll quote Johnny Rotten: “Anger is an energy.” The powers that be may have riot gear, but we have the incessant and unwavering energy—and ability—to be in many, many places at once, whether it’s online, in the streets, or behind a camera. There aren’t enough tanks for that, are there?

I’ll report back.

 

10 Things I’ll Force Upon My Employees After I Open a Religion-Based Business

Hobby Lobby won. Thanks to five men on the U.S. Supreme Court, the corporate human being of Hobby Lobby will no longer have to fund the odious sin of contraception committed by their female employees. Praise Jesus, who died specifically for our right to deny basic healthcare to wanton hussies and the men who boink them!

With the road paved for corporate religious freedom everywhere throughout our fair land, why not start our own religion-based business? Yeah, let’s do that, then make our employees abide by the tenets of our incorporated, moral pathway to the afterlife.

  1. Even though some very smart people have said the morning after pill does not cause abortion, it’s not a question of fact—it’s all about belief. So, we believe idolatry and obsession are the same thing. No more use of social media by any employee.
  2. Since we all have to honor our father and mother, no employee will ever be allowed to place their parent into a home for the elderly.
  3. Abortion is unnatural…and so is processed food. Junk food vending machines will be banned within a 50-mile radius of the company. Anyone caught eating or possessing junk food will be terminated immediately.
  4. Thou shalt not kill, but you can own a gun, but only if you open-carry that gun and not kill; you can only scare people and especially children. You can also scare corporations, which are people.
  5. If you’re an anti-gay employee who’s later found to be secretly frequenting gay clubs or other dens of iniquity, you will be turned into salt.
  6. Sex and pee-pees are dirty unless you’re married. Unless you provide us with a copy of your marriage certificate, your healthcare plan will not cover Viagra, erectile dysfunction drugs, penile implants, vasectomies, or circumcision.
  7. Related to number 6: all men are prohibited from purchasing condoms, sex dolls, and porn. We’ll be watching you.
  8. Anyone working on a Sunday will be stoned to death.
  9. You must love others as you love yourself. If you hate, disrespect, or dishonor anyone, this means you have a deep-seated feeling of self-loathing. Although we’re not doctors, we’ll diagnose you with borderline personality disorder. We’ll also deny you benefits to cover therapy.
  10. You have to attend all happy hours. We’re a happy fucking company, so act like it.

Welcome to the company! We love having you here!

 

Why the Gastronomic is Political

I’m part of a community that embraces people of all shapes and sizes. It’s not cool to make media-influenced comments on people’s physiques. Gay culture has its bears. And, being plus-size doesn’t always translate to being unhealthy.

What I’ll focus on, however, is why being healthy should be part of what defines being queer, and especially a queer POC.

I grew up in a family that didn’t know any better and ate loads and loads of fast food, sweets, and canned shit. My dad worked as a janitor in a bakery and would often bring home big boxes of cookies and cakes. My childhood was filled with sickness: fainting spells, anemia, fatigue, and what would later be diagnosed as Meniere’s Disease, which was accompanied by hearing loss and massive dizzy spells.

Being physically active (riding my bike and skateboard, high school track and field) made my bad nutrition environment tolerable and perhaps prevented me from a worse fate. I was never concerned about weight, and even went on a diet once to gain pounds. Weight wasn’t the issue; health became the main concern in a family wracked by sauces and preservatives and Twinkies.

After high school I got out of Dodge, so to speak, and have since made some hardcore changes to my lifestyle and eating habits. I’ve tried many different healing modes and methodologies: Body Ecology, macrobiotic, seeing a nutritionist, acupuncture, fasting, hypnosis, yoga, Chinese herbs, and Chi Nei Tsang (also known as internal organ massage, my favorite form of self-care)—just to name a few.

These were all choices I made to protect myself from and prevent further illness. This was even before I learned about how the food industry works. When I started reading and hearing about how food is processed, what goes into food products found on supermarket shelves, and the communities that are targeted by dispassionate marketers—I got mad. Sometimes furious. Often overwhelmed. The discourse on body image was, for me, no longer about big versus small. It became about the continued, concerted effort by the food industry to profit from people’s ignorance, and to continually fuel that ignorance in ever-changing and shadier ways.

What kind of self-respecting liberal pinko commie mulatto dyke would I be if I didn’t fight back?

The LGBT community is at an increased risk of health issues like heart disease, depression, cancer, and diabetes. We’re well aware of the violence against our community in the streets; we should be just as adamantly against the slow violence in our kitchens. This goes for poor people, poor people of color, and anyone who’s unknowingly feeding the beast of mass consumption.

We should be squarely part of the political movement to protect ourselves, our communities, and communities of color from the food industry. Here’s why.

The food industry is killing us and they don’t give a fuck. In April of 1999, some of the most powerful food industry moguls (read: rich white men) met in Minneapolis to discuss the worsening problem of obesity in America. Whereas the first VP who spoke rallied his audience of 10 around a theme of responsibility and leadership, the next speaker responded, “Don’t talk to me about nutrition. Talk to me about taste, and if this stuff tastes better, don’t run around trying to sell stuff that doesn’t taste good.” This essentially killed further discussion. Nothing changed. The food industry continues to find ways of loosening regulations, falsely labeling its products, or not labeling them with important information (such as whether or not they contain GMOs).

It’s not your fault that the “taste” is addictive and dangerous. The moguls know good and well that “taste” will always win out, since “taste” has been constructed in a laboratory to keep you eating—and buying—unhealthy food. More and more studies are exposing the addictive nature of sugar. Salt is so ubiquitous that many people would consider their food too bland without it. These companies are bent on creating more and more heavy users. Guess how much money the processed food industry makes each year? I encourage you to do a bit of research on the largest American food companies and why processed foods are horrible, if you’re not already aware. It’s like street drugs were legalized all of a sudden and the dealers are going buck wild.

Bad food slows you down, and we need you to be productive! There is a lot of information on how food is related to more serious and life-threatening diseases such as heart disease and cancer. Unhealthy foods have also been linked to many ailments and conditions including chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia, and even schizophrenia. (There’s a great documentary on how Margot Kidder treated her schizophrenia through nutrition.) As a filmmaker with a lot of ambitious goals on her plate, I can’t afford to be sick, sluggish, or incapacitated. Think how many more movies, songs, art installations, and performances we can create just by adopting healthy eating habits?

We’re gonna have some kick-ass parties in the queer assisted living facility.
I have another goal to live past the age of 90, and with any luck, become a centenarian. Who wants to join me and be in charge of dance night?

Oh, and fitness, too – a few exercise (and food) recommendations

Along with healthy eating comes staying physically fit. I’m lucky to live in the Bay Area and to have friends who empower folks to feel their best, both exercise and foodwise. Here are a few great ones; most are fairly inexpensive.

If you have a little bit of money

  • Rena Marie Guidry’s dance class: Rena teaches Fusion Rhythms at Rhythm & Motion in San Francisco (a mix of hip hop, jazz, African, modern Latin, world, and pop). This is non-stop energetic. I’ve never seen so many people smiling in a dance class on a Saturday morning. Check out the Rhythm & Motion class schedule to see when she’s teaching. Rena is also knowledgeable about healthy eating habits and using food to feel great.
  • GrooveCore with Teresa at ProAction Athletics: Teresa is awesome and has her own hashtag, #TeresaRocks. Her class has been known to be “so popular people show up half an hour before class to reserve a spot – during a busy work day.” She also provides general health information and like Rena Marie, she’s an amazing dancer!
  • Jada Delaney: I’ve been seeing Jada on and off for years for Chi Nei Tsang. Although she’s based in Santa Barbara, she visits San Francisco monthly. You’ll fall asleep on her massage table and feel so much better after a session with her.
  • Ace Morgan: Voted “Best of the Bay, Best Personal Trainer” by the SF Guardian, Ace has a loyal following of fitness devotees. Ace is all about health and lifestyle change, always attributing the results to the individual and not himself. He’ll also go food shopping with you. A great person—humble, kind, and inspiring.
  • A gym membership: Planet Fitness is one of the cheapest deals in the Bay Area. If you join Valencia Street Muscle you get the added bonus of catching up with Ace.
  • Independent grocers and co-ops: Rainbow Grocery is the big one in San Francisco, but there are tons of others like Berkeley Bowl and Farmer Joe’s in Oakland. Find one in your area. Stop supporting conglomerates and chains.

If you ain’t got no money

There’s no reason those with less means can’t eat and be healthy. It’s just a matter of getting the word out, like People’s Grocery is doing. Farmers markets are cheaper than you think, especially if you go to smaller community markets. Many of them accept food stamps. Or, you can rally people together to start your own. If you must go to Safeway, read labels and shop organic. And while you’re at it, go to their Facebook page and tell them to label their GMO foods, and sign the Credo-sponsored petition as well. Stay informed with sites like Fooducate and let other people know about them. For getting in shape, economics be damned—run, walk, or crawl if you have to.

The tide is changing

With enough visibility and concerted efforts, things can change. An urban farm is being built in Detroit. Latino communities in the U.S. are fighting diabetes with nutrition. If enough people start making a huge fuss and holding companies accountable on an ongoing basis, we can literally prolong life. See you in the rec room.

Use the hashtag #FoodJustice on Twitter and Facebook when posting healthy recipes, news stories related to healthy eating, or information exposing food industry worst practices.