In 2005, I created a 16mm short film, Faith-Based Charity, which premiered at the San Francisco International LGBT Film Festival. Having thought for many years how about I would ever capture anything of the relationship I had with my mother, I settled primarily on the power of make-believe, fabricating an unlikely scenario between a young white woman and an older black mother.
It became much easier to couch the story in the sociopolitical terms of race, class, and age, while staying true to the overall motifs of loss, sacrifice, the often strange havens we create for ourselves, and mental and emotional well-being.
Interestingly, this was the last film I created with a mostly male crew. It was a positive experience and everyone I worked with was fantastic. Still, it was a turning point for me. In the downstairs area we used as a green room, where my wife spent most of her time alone to stay focused and prep for each scene, I realized that despite the personal material and the wonderful time I had coaching my wife in her role, there was definitely something missing. Or, something I wanted more of, which was the feeling I had creating something with my wife—not only a sense of being held by and holding a community, but being able to bring more of a community feel to a movie set in general.
Since then, my movie sets have been more like gatherings. I hope it shows in the work I create. Perhaps the set of Faith-Based Charity was indeed the start of a small “something larger,” and now I always strive to not only harmonize content and form, but to also view story as process, and to value cast and crew as community.