You Know You’re a Tragic Mulatto When….

Does the tragic mulatto still exist in literature and film? We’re not quite sure. Imitation of Life has been old news since the advent of Jennifer Beals, Halle Berry, and Maya Rudolph. Even The Human Stain is verging on outdated. It seems transgender is the new black, or the next frontier of mainstream media figuring out there’s more to entertainment than stereotyping.

Tragic mulattoes are still out there, however. Here’s how you can tell if you’re one of them.

You know you’re a tragic mulatto when:

  1. You identify with Tyler Perry movies.
  2. You think half-breed is the name of a cocktail.
  3. You think mixed race is another term for Bay to Breakers.
  4. You think biracial is a skin whitener pronounced bee-RAH-cee-all.
  5. You have no black friends.
  6. You have no white friends.
  7. Your idea of racial pride is watching The View.
  8. You often can’t decide between a polite handshake and a fist-bump, slap-on-the-back, “wassup dawg” combo.
  9. People who don’t speak Spanish address you in Spanish.
  10. You search Urban Dictionary on a weekly basis for new terms.
  11. You have a news alert set up for Tiger Woods.
  12. You’re a mulatto who’s never heard of the tragic mulatto.

There’s hope for you yet. Stay strong, do some reading, and get out more.