Happy Thanksgiving from Cinemulatto!

It’s been the case for some time that mulattoes are higher up the social ladder than their black counterparts. Yes, the light-skinneded ones have it all. Well, not all: we’re not as statistically impressive as white people. They still have things like beach chalets and car elevators. Regardless, mulattoes can flaunt some serious, research-based bragging rights. Can’t we?

Yes we can! We’re rich!

In honor of our hallowed place in the Land of the Privileged and in celebration of this year’s Thanksgiving, we won’t settle for showing appreciation for pedestrian things like family, friends, or life. We’re better than that. We’ve earned our place in the upwardly mobile American status quo, and we can be thankful accordingly. In fact, this year, so can you.

15 First World Things To Be Thankful For

  1. Tip calculators.
  2. Cacao has not only made it into pop culture—cacao nibs can be purchased in bulk.
  3. If you ever default on a U-Haul payment, your mid-century modern lamps will go to someone in need.
  4. Crib soother aquariums.
  5. Salvation Army will take anything, and you don’t have to tip the guy who sits there.
  6. Skinny ties never go out of style.
  7. Steroids aren’t just for adult sports teams anymore. Teenagers can use them, too.
  8. There are many online recipes for grilled cheese sandwiches.
  9. Busses will take you directly to work. (They’re called “shuttles” since “bus” isn’t First World enough.)
  10. Rear-vision cameras on cars can be used to make movies.
  11. A whole website is devoted to First World Problems, in meme format.
  12. Memes.
  13. Vegan dryer sheets.
  14. Food trucks for dogs.
  15. Happiness, liberty, and good health. Because they still exist in America.

What are you thankful for?


What the hell is a Cinemulatto?

I’m a filmmaker. I’m mixed race (Jamaican mom, Cajun dad). I like the word “mulatto” not only because it sounds like “gelato,” but because it’s exotic and sexy, not to mention vaguely Italian. The Italians brought us great movies.

I love movies and books. I have a penchant for music from the 60s (mod, freakbeat, psychedelia) but I’m game for everything from hip hop to shoegaze to anything I listened to as a kid—even John Denver.

I’m more often a philanthropist than a misanthrope.

All of the above will give you a semi-idea not only of what constitutes a “Cinemulatto”, but what you can expect from this blog. Feel free to plagiarize any of the above if you need a ready-made online dating profile.

In true mixed-race fashion, this blog will be bi-weekly. We’ll have guests. Sometimes there’ll be video.

I’m late in the game entering the blogosphere but get this—late bloomers live longer. It’s true and fact-checked. They also have higher salaries, experience more frequent bouts of inner peace, and have vibrant, acrobatic sex lives. They have softer skin, require less hair product, and look fashionable with any shoe.

Come for the company, stay for the food.  And now I present to you….


Barack Obama
My Mulatto President

I’m so relieved/ecstatic/mind-blown that this man is still president. I was having nightmares and panic attacks about Mitt Romney. The worst—Mitt comes to take away my Big Fat Gay Family. But he’s not president, nor is he Mulatto of the Month.

Despite drone attacks, increased oil production, and other very non-progressive ills, history will no doubt mark Obama as extraordinary not only for being the first African-American president (which we’ll give him for the significance, but mulattoes can be smug about the truth), but for many groundbreaking acts that are so vast in their magnitude, the public consciousness has yet to fully absorb:

  • Repealing Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell
  • Taking out Osama Bin Laden
  • Passing a massive, landmark healthcare plan
  • “Coming out” in support of gay marriage
  • Ending the war in Iraq
  • Saving international American face
  • Signing legislation for equal pay for women and against hate crimes
  • Winning true victories for the American people, not just “things he did”
  • Having a decent, soulful singing voice

Obamalatto. Our president.