10 Things I’ll Force Upon My Employees After I Open a Religion-Based Business

Hobby Lobby won. Thanks to five men on the U.S. Supreme Court, the corporate human being of Hobby Lobby will no longer have to fund the odious sin of contraception committed by their female employees. Praise Jesus, who died specifically for our right to deny basic healthcare to wanton hussies and the men who boink them!

With the road paved for corporate religious freedom everywhere throughout our fair land, why not start our own religion-based business? Yeah, let’s do that, then make our employees abide by the tenets of our incorporated, moral pathway to the afterlife.

  1. Even though some very smart people have said the morning after pill does not cause abortion, it’s not a question of fact—it’s all about belief. So, we believe idolatry and obsession are the same thing. No more use of social media by any employee.
  2. Since we all have to honor our father and mother, no employee will ever be allowed to place their parent into a home for the elderly.
  3. Abortion is unnatural…and so is processed food. Junk food vending machines will be banned within a 50-mile radius of the company. Anyone caught eating or possessing junk food will be terminated immediately.
  4. Thou shalt not kill, but you can own a gun, but only if you open-carry that gun and not kill; you can only scare people and especially children. You can also scare corporations, which are people.
  5. If you’re an anti-gay employee who’s later found to be secretly frequenting gay clubs or other dens of iniquity, you will be turned into salt.
  6. Sex and pee-pees are dirty unless you’re married. Unless you provide us with a copy of your marriage certificate, your healthcare plan will not cover Viagra, erectile dysfunction drugs, penile implants, vasectomies, or circumcision.
  7. Related to number 6: all men are prohibited from purchasing condoms, sex dolls, and porn. We’ll be watching you.
  8. Anyone working on a Sunday will be stoned to death.
  9. You must love others as you love yourself. If you hate, disrespect, or dishonor anyone, this means you have a deep-seated feeling of self-loathing. Although we’re not doctors, we’ll diagnose you with borderline personality disorder. We’ll also deny you benefits to cover therapy.
  10. You have to attend all happy hours. We’re a happy fucking company, so act like it.

Welcome to the company! We love having you here!

 

What White Culture?

I recently read Justin Simien’s piece posted on the CNN website from February of this year: 5 things to know about black culture now. He discusses a scene from his movie, Dear White People, where the lead character is asked to write an opinion piece for the college newspaper on black culture.

Lionel’s dilemma is one many black Americans share: a deep desire to have an identity rooted in black culture coupled with the knowledge that what’s seen as “authentically black” in popular culture doesn’t reflect our actual experience.

Wait, black people have an “actual experience”? What does this mean?

What is black culture?

Black culture, sans quotes, is the sum total of cultural contributions to the mainstream by the black subculture. It’s a fluid and a multifaceted, often contradictory thing.

Meanwhile “Black Culture” is a lifestyle standard made of assumptions about black identity, often used successfully by marketers, studio heads, fashion brands and music labels to make money.

I started to wonder about “white culture”. Once again, I headed to social media for answers, asking my Facebook friends: what are the current components of white culture?

The answers were numerous and diverse. Here’s an anonymous sampling.

  • Anger?
  • Angst about not having a culture
  • A love of stuff?
  • I know it’s a digression, but is there a white culture? I figure the local dominant group self-identifies in sub-groups: liberal/progressive, religious/secular rich/poor etc.
  • Ranch dressing
  • Owning a home to complain about the upkeep of
  • Home Depot on a Saturday morning
  • Curio cabinets
  • Mumblecore
  • High Sierra Music Festival
  • Shit, in 2014 you could say a component to white culture is hip hop shows.
  • WTF – the white culture is more blended now – at my house – Chinese, Filipino, Cambodian, Black, Indian, and same sex partnership. What White Culture.
  • School shootings

Another insight from Texas rapper Dubwerth: “You almost have to dissect the
sub-cultures within white culture to get a more accurate breakdown. You have your typecast Hillbilly hick and these typecasts range all the way up to the high-nose rich white snob.”

So the definitions of both white and black culture stem from what we see people doing out and about and how they’re portrayed in the media. And millions of other people of the given race don’t fit the particular image we see.

Has black culture caught up with white culture in the American “melting pot” of social organization? Is the food, music, rules of behavior, language, arts, and literature blended (enough) that we can finally say there is a strong American culture?

We don’t yet live in a post-racial society. In addition to recognizing blatant, racially motivated acts of violence and prejudice, white people still need to know 18 things before discussing racism. And of course anyone, regardless of race, can be prejudiced. At least we now live in a time where depictions—on the street and in the media—are moving baby step by baby step towards something resembling reality.

 

Am I Raising a Mixed-Race Child?

Forced photo credit: Dakota Billops-Breaux

“Are you raising me white?”

“I don’t think so.”

“So you’re raising me mixed?”

I have two mixed-race daughters. My teen daughter and I had the above exchange as we drove to her SAT. It came right after my sage advice to use either ‘bruh’ or ‘blood’, depending on who she was talking to, in the event of a race war. (Always know who you’re dealing with.)

This wasn’t a situation where someone was asking me or my wife if either of us is the birth parent of our toddler. It had nothing to do with someone trying to figure out our daughters’ racial heritage. There were no skin tone comparisons, or earnest inquiries, or attempts to touch hair.

What does it mean to raise a child to be mixed-race? Is there a mixed-race culture?

The teen daughter in question is fond of music. Her favorite genre is pop-punk, whose musicians are predominantly white. Although she’s familiar with contemporary hip hop and can quote lyrics like nobody’s business (or is it bidness?), there are no black hip hop artists on her smartphone. Does this make her mixed-race? Would having music by black artists allow her to play a race card?

Her meals run the gamut from organic and vegan to cheap and processed. Does this make her mixed-race?

She can dance. Does this make her mixed-race?

She has self-proclaimed “hair issues”. But doesn’t that cross racial lines? (Doesn’t it?)

She can switch from a “white” accent to a “black” one. Is this the defining factor?

Most importantly, how has parenting contributed to any and all of the above? Was it early exposure to The Beatles? Did slipping in The Roots shake things up? Was it the hip hop dance classes?

I have no idea. I know she’s aware of the predominance of white women and girls in books and media. Her friends are diverse. The first report she ever wrote for school was on Ruby Bridges. She doesn’t currently identify so much with her Asian heritage, although she wants to someday visit Japan. (She’s not part-Japanese.) We have a blended family that includes black, white, Native American, and Filipino.

Perhaps I have indeed raised a mixed-race child. How has this manifested? My daughter is smart, sensitive, hilarious, and culturally attuned. She can interact with people of all races, ethnicities, creeds, and backgrounds. She even knows how to combat hair issues.

We haven’t laminated the race card, but we’re working on it.

 

Why the Gastronomic is Political

I’m part of a community that embraces people of all shapes and sizes. It’s not cool to make media-influenced comments on people’s physiques. Gay culture has its bears. And, being plus-size doesn’t always translate to being unhealthy.

What I’ll focus on, however, is why being healthy should be part of what defines being queer, and especially a queer POC.

I grew up in a family that didn’t know any better and ate loads and loads of fast food, sweets, and canned shit. My dad worked as a janitor in a bakery and would often bring home big boxes of cookies and cakes. My childhood was filled with sickness: fainting spells, anemia, fatigue, and what would later be diagnosed as Meniere’s Disease, which was accompanied by hearing loss and massive dizzy spells.

Being physically active (riding my bike and skateboard, high school track and field) made my bad nutrition environment tolerable and perhaps prevented me from a worse fate. I was never concerned about weight, and even went on a diet once to gain pounds. Weight wasn’t the issue; health became the main concern in a family wracked by sauces and preservatives and Twinkies.

After high school I got out of Dodge, so to speak, and have since made some hardcore changes to my lifestyle and eating habits. I’ve tried many different healing modes and methodologies: Body Ecology, macrobiotic, seeing a nutritionist, acupuncture, fasting, hypnosis, yoga, Chinese herbs, and Chi Nei Tsang (also known as internal organ massage, my favorite form of self-care)—just to name a few.

These were all choices I made to protect myself from and prevent further illness. This was even before I learned about how the food industry works. When I started reading and hearing about how food is processed, what goes into food products found on supermarket shelves, and the communities that are targeted by dispassionate marketers—I got mad. Sometimes furious. Often overwhelmed. The discourse on body image was, for me, no longer about big versus small. It became about the continued, concerted effort by the food industry to profit from people’s ignorance, and to continually fuel that ignorance in ever-changing and shadier ways.

What kind of self-respecting liberal pinko commie mulatto dyke would I be if I didn’t fight back?

The LGBT community is at an increased risk of health issues like heart disease, depression, cancer, and diabetes. We’re well aware of the violence against our community in the streets; we should be just as adamantly against the slow violence in our kitchens. This goes for poor people, poor people of color, and anyone who’s unknowingly feeding the beast of mass consumption.

We should be squarely part of the political movement to protect ourselves, our communities, and communities of color from the food industry. Here’s why.

The food industry is killing us and they don’t give a fuck. In April of 1999, some of the most powerful food industry moguls (read: rich white men) met in Minneapolis to discuss the worsening problem of obesity in America. Whereas the first VP who spoke rallied his audience of 10 around a theme of responsibility and leadership, the next speaker responded, “Don’t talk to me about nutrition. Talk to me about taste, and if this stuff tastes better, don’t run around trying to sell stuff that doesn’t taste good.” This essentially killed further discussion. Nothing changed. The food industry continues to find ways of loosening regulations, falsely labeling its products, or not labeling them with important information (such as whether or not they contain GMOs).

It’s not your fault that the “taste” is addictive and dangerous. The moguls know good and well that “taste” will always win out, since “taste” has been constructed in a laboratory to keep you eating—and buying—unhealthy food. More and more studies are exposing the addictive nature of sugar. Salt is so ubiquitous that many people would consider their food too bland without it. These companies are bent on creating more and more heavy users. Guess how much money the processed food industry makes each year? I encourage you to do a bit of research on the largest American food companies and why processed foods are horrible, if you’re not already aware. It’s like street drugs were legalized all of a sudden and the dealers are going buck wild.

Bad food slows you down, and we need you to be productive! There is a lot of information on how food is related to more serious and life-threatening diseases such as heart disease and cancer. Unhealthy foods have also been linked to many ailments and conditions including chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia, and even schizophrenia. (There’s a great documentary on how Margot Kidder treated her schizophrenia through nutrition.) As a filmmaker with a lot of ambitious goals on her plate, I can’t afford to be sick, sluggish, or incapacitated. Think how many more movies, songs, art installations, and performances we can create just by adopting healthy eating habits?

We’re gonna have some kick-ass parties in the queer assisted living facility.
I have another goal to live past the age of 90, and with any luck, become a centenarian. Who wants to join me and be in charge of dance night?

Oh, and fitness, too – a few exercise (and food) recommendations

Along with healthy eating comes staying physically fit. I’m lucky to live in the Bay Area and to have friends who empower folks to feel their best, both exercise and foodwise. Here are a few great ones; most are fairly inexpensive.

If you have a little bit of money

  • Rena Marie Guidry’s dance class: Rena teaches Fusion Rhythms at Rhythm & Motion in San Francisco (a mix of hip hop, jazz, African, modern Latin, world, and pop). This is non-stop energetic. I’ve never seen so many people smiling in a dance class on a Saturday morning. Check out the Rhythm & Motion class schedule to see when she’s teaching. Rena is also knowledgeable about healthy eating habits and using food to feel great.
  • GrooveCore with Teresa at ProAction Athletics: Teresa is awesome and has her own hashtag, #TeresaRocks. Her class has been known to be “so popular people show up half an hour before class to reserve a spot – during a busy work day.” She also provides general health information and like Rena Marie, she’s an amazing dancer!
  • Jada Delaney: I’ve been seeing Jada on and off for years for Chi Nei Tsang. Although she’s based in Santa Barbara, she visits San Francisco monthly. You’ll fall asleep on her massage table and feel so much better after a session with her.
  • Ace Morgan: Voted “Best of the Bay, Best Personal Trainer” by the SF Guardian, Ace has a loyal following of fitness devotees. Ace is all about health and lifestyle change, always attributing the results to the individual and not himself. He’ll also go food shopping with you. A great person—humble, kind, and inspiring.
  • A gym membership: Planet Fitness is one of the cheapest deals in the Bay Area. If you join Valencia Street Muscle you get the added bonus of catching up with Ace.
  • Independent grocers and co-ops: Rainbow Grocery is the big one in San Francisco, but there are tons of others like Berkeley Bowl and Farmer Joe’s in Oakland. Find one in your area. Stop supporting conglomerates and chains.

If you ain’t got no money

There’s no reason those with less means can’t eat and be healthy. It’s just a matter of getting the word out, like People’s Grocery is doing. Farmers markets are cheaper than you think, especially if you go to smaller community markets. Many of them accept food stamps. Or, you can rally people together to start your own. If you must go to Safeway, read labels and shop organic. And while you’re at it, go to their Facebook page and tell them to label their GMO foods, and sign the Credo-sponsored petition as well. Stay informed with sites like Fooducate and let other people know about them. For getting in shape, economics be damned—run, walk, or crawl if you have to.

The tide is changing

With enough visibility and concerted efforts, things can change. An urban farm is being built in Detroit. Latino communities in the U.S. are fighting diabetes with nutrition. If enough people start making a huge fuss and holding companies accountable on an ongoing basis, we can literally prolong life. See you in the rec room.

Use the hashtag #FoodJustice on Twitter and Facebook when posting healthy recipes, news stories related to healthy eating, or information exposing food industry worst practices.

 

How Bay Area Tech Companies Can Change the World (and Save Face)

Not only do I hope tech companies come around and pursue the right course of action in San Francisco; they have a chance to take the lead and set a contemporary model for civic and corporate responsibility in a city with a long history of progressive politics.

Yesterday, Mayor Ed Lee met with several high-ranking tech figures to ask them to contribute more to housing, education, and public transportation. The meeting was private but the media obtained a copy of the invitation. Protestors made their voices heard outside of the offices of Salesforce.com.

This is an unprecedented opportunity for tech giants to do several things:

  • Become a positive part of the cultural fabric
  • Give back to the community
  • Transform San Francisco and surrounding communities
  • Develop a model that can be copied nationally
  • Save face

I always have to disclose: I’ve worked in the tech industry since the first dot.com bust. My first film was financed from stock options. I’ve been told I’m the exception and not the norm—a mixed-race queer chick who works in a highly diverse company. I regularly donate funds and resources to the artistic endeavors of friends, when I’m not financing my own. I’m so left-leaning it often feels like I’ll fall down. (Or is it vertigo?)

Surely, though, there can be some kind of n-point plan for eliminating—or at least greatly mitigating—several of the woes faced by the people of the Bay Area. Here’s what I propose.

Get as many tech companies as possible to form a coalition, perhaps called something like Community Partners, to help to directly combat the Bay Area’s most pressing issues. Over a five-year period, the companies would tackle the most urgent ones, the first two being unquestionable matters of life and death. After these goals are reached within the given timeframe, the next social ills would be addressed, two at a time over five-year periods.

Here is what I believe are the two biggest, solvable problems:

  1. The death rate among young African American men in Oakland. The leading cause of death in young Oakland men between 15 and 34 is homicide. Organizations like African American Male Achievement Office are taking measures to make these statistics a thing of the past. With the proper funding and partnership, this can become as much of a reality as the rapid application development timeframe that tech companies are so familiar with. Those at tech companies know better than anyone else the need to quickly design, develop, and deploy a new and powerful system. Why not lend these and financial resources to something within the realm of social possibility?
  2. Homelessness. A high estimate for the number of homeless on the streets of San Francisco is 5,000. Compared to the 51,000 people estimated as homeless in Los Angeles, this number is insignificant, and capable of being vastly reduced with the financial assistance of the over 100 tech companies in the Bay Area.

And after these are addressed? Solve problems in education, air quality, and public transportation. Compile a full list of problems that, by solving, would not only bring even greater prosperity to more people (San Francisco County currently has the second highest per capita income in California), but also position local tech companies as the most progressive coalition of businesses in the nation. How’s that for a marketing advantage?

How to accomplish all these lofty goals, those of you who work at tech companies? First off, start interacting with the outside world. Use the tech-ubiquitous catch phrases of innovation and disruption to affect social change on a large scale. Keep it organized. Rally with your tech allies to put together a project plan, measures of success, a budget, and the like; pledge a dollar amount toward a specific organization or set of organizations; then partner with these organizations until real, measurable change is realized. If even half of the 100 companies pledged $10,000 a year over 5 years, that’s $2.5 million dollars. This sort of mass philanthropy could produce real, lasting change.

What do you think? Would tech companies buy into something like this, and can the Bay Area be a beacon of civic improvement?

 

Fox News is Really, Really Awful

I’m done! I made it through two weeks of Fox News!

I should be honest. I broke down after only a week into my fast. I didn’t quite cheat all the way, however—I kept to my pledge of not consuming any left-wing news. This was quite hard. I found other things to do, anything else to do, like chores. I caught up on email. I went to bed earlier. I sat and stared at nothing.

What was it like feeding only on Fox News for two weeks?

One of the first things I encountered was rants from Chris Stirewalt, who introduced me to the term Hopium in the context of Obama addiction. It was all uphill from there. After suffering through stories like the Massachusetts court case on the mandatory recitation of the Pledge of Allegiance in schools, how the closing of nuclear power plants is bad, and the “vicious boycott” of a Christian bakery by “militant homosexual activists,” I broke down and started checking Facebook. Not the news feed, mind you, but any invites I got, or comments folks had left on my posts.

It got really bad on September 3rd. I wrote in my Fox Log (flog?):

My brain is melting from lack of intelligent discourse. I’m cheating slightly since my wife has been starting discussions based on NPR shows she’s heard. Massive lefty news withdrawal. Today’s Fox headlines: turned-in guns can’t be destroyed in North Carolina (“save the gun”) and a major union cut ties with the ACLU due to Obamacare because they want single-payer and are calling no-use fees a “tax.”

I realized: yes, there is a clear right-leaning bias in Fox News. I knew this going into it and it’s why I did this. Anyone who doesn’t know this is probably watching Fox News. Still, I came to understand something deeper, which is that Fox really does tailor its content to folks who have about a 6th-grade education, or at the very least, those who are on the lower end of the education hierarchy of needs. And yet, those folks are out there, living Fox lives.

It made me question my existence as a card carrying, flame throwing liberal. Am I doing enough? Is petition signing, creating “alternative” films, donating to humanitarian causes and projects, and the occasional street protest enough?

After my brief existential crisis, I took heart. I knew I hadn’t been converted into an unquestioning, bible-thumping, hawkish bigot, and that yes, I’m happy with my life and my level of liberal political involvement. Drew Westen was right—I’m hard-wired to be as liberal as my parents. My mom took in a little girl after a particularly bad Jamaican hurricane in the 1950s. My heart is destined to bleed at a similar velocity.

A few days before the end of my fast, I opened Facebook and saw I’d been invited to a queer and trans people of color filmmakers collective. Life was as it should be.

In sum: I’ll never do this again.

A Liberal Fast: Consuming Right-Wing Media for Two Weeks

“I believe in a relatively equal society, supported by institutions that limit extremes of wealth and poverty. I believe in democracy, civil liberties, and the rule of law. That makes me a liberal, and I’m proud of it.”― Paul Krugman

I get most of my news from several primary sources: social media (specifically Facebook and Twitter, where breaking stories often hit before the mainstream media outlets get to them), Huffington Post, BBC News, CNN, New York Times, Salon.com, The Washington Post, and other stalwarts of the lefty press. On Facebook, I “like” clever, left-wing memes with pithy, sarcastic, fact-based insights. I’ve voted Democrat in every election since I was legally able, and I’m often sympathetic to Green candidates.

My parents were Democrats. Was I programmed to vote along the same party lines as them? In The Political Brain, Drew Westen writes, “The single best predictor of party affiliation—and of the broader value systems associated with it—is in fact the party affiliation of our parents.” Am I genetically predisposed to support Obamacare, food stamps, and Social Security?

I don’t keep up with Sean Hannity or Bill O’Reilly. (Although, I did watch Rumble in the Air-Conditioned Auditorium and offered spirited rebuttals to my computer screen. I thought Jon Stewart won.) I consume enough liberal-centric media, however, to think Republicans are stupid. They do things like think Obama was responsible for the slow response to Hurricane Katrina. According to the media I know and love, Republicans are self-centered and less educated, and they attempt to argue with biblical scholars. Are they really soulless idiots, or is it all just partisan hype? Has Cinemulatto been brainwashed? Can genetic political ties be broken and reprogrammed?

Well, I’m going to find out. How? I’m going to subject myself to the most lambasted right-wing news source out there. I’m going to watch Fox News for two weeks. No Facebook. No Twitter. No liberal media. I’ll try and see the other side. I know the odds are against me. Still, in an attempt to presoak my prefrontal cortex in a new, squeaky-clean, triple-action detergent, Fox News will be my sole news source until the next Cinemulatto post.

Wish me luck. I’ll report back in two weeks.

A Letter to My Racist Pen Pal

This is technically, “The zoo has an African and the lion….”

Since we’re living in such a post-racial society, and because of the enlightened Obama protest in Arizona where people held signs that said, “47 percent Negro” and “Impeach the Half-White Muslim!”, Cinemulatto thought it’d be appropriate to check in with our racist Arizonan pen pal.

Hey there buddy,

I totally saw you in the news! Or, I think it was you. You were holding an “Impeach Obama” sign. That was you, right?

I know it’s not my turn to write. I just got so excited to see you in national news, I decided to give you a freebie.

First off, I was thinking of how lucky we were to meet in The American Conservative blog comments. My life has changed for the better since that fateful, high-web-traffic afternoon. Thanks for letting me be your troll!

I understand you’ve been having a hard time. This is also why I’m writing. Quite frankly, I’ve figured something out—I think your current bout of depression may be related to you being kind of a shitty person.

Don’t take that the wrong way. We all have our better moments and our better selves. And I use it to preface a few words of wisdom I’d like to pass along.

I know, I know—I’m always giving you advice. It’s the liberal in me! This one’s great, though. I happened to be thinking about business intelligence. Call it a byproduct of San Francisco gentrification. What’s business intelligence? It’s taking a bunch of data and seeing if the numbers tell you anything about your organization. Think of it as a way to maintain a competitive advantage. It’s basically using information to get ahead in business.

My advice to you: hone your racial intelligence. It’s using information to get ahead in life.

I can appreciate that you’re undereducated. I don’t fault you for that. You know I respect someone who’s at least trying. There wasn’t a single typo on your protest sign. I’m so proud of you.

Still, I have a few things to point out based on what I heard about the Desert Vista High School protest. I think you made a few incorrect assumptions about race. And song lyrics.

First off, by chanting “Bye Bye Black Sheep”, folks weren’t doing justice to the sheep, and may have inadvertently humanized Obama. The “black sheep” from the song was actually quite generous, compassionate, and respectful (three bags full of respectful!). Review the words and you’ll see.

Instead of “Impeach the Half-White Muslim,” the sign should’ve read either “Impeach the Mulatto Muslim” (a great little nod to this blog), “Impeach the Mixed-Race Muslim,” or “Impeach the Biracial Muslim”. I know terms of identity change all the time but the sign is otherwise kind of offensive.

I should also let you know: Obama isn’t Muslim. But, if he were, that’d be okay. I know how much you love the Constitution (we have so much in common!). We’re both aware that “A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.” Did you know, however, that “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof?” Thereof means of the thing just mentioned. Just so you know.

I hope you find this helpful. And please let me know how things are going. Did you remember to wear sunscreen to the protest?

Always thinking of you,
Cinemulatto

MULATTO OF THE MONTH: PAULI MURRAY


The first black woman to be ordained as an Episcopal priest, Pauli Murray was mixed with Irish, Black, and Native American. Hospitalized twice for bad breakups with women, her “inverted sex instinct” was as bold as her feminist writings on the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

Check out the project dedicated to Pauli Murray, and remember there are currently more humanitarians than racists.

 

8 Ways My Third World Parents Were More Zero Waste Than You Are

I wanted to write about Florida for this edition of Cinemulatto, but I decided I can’t take any more bad news without feeling a combination of acute depression and intense rage. It’s become too much for me. So, for now I’m going to concentrate on happy things, and consider the complicated topic of people of color and environmentalism (and reference Florida in an indirect way—be sure to click the link).

Breaking it down further—Cinemulatto’s gonna tell you how the early lifestyles of my Jamaican mom and French Creole dad were greener than the bottom of a compost heap.

I know, I know….Louisiana’s not Third World. But a wooden shack with 12 kids in a backwoods swamp certainly is. We can learn so much from Sylvester Breaux’s and Dorothy Newton’s sustainable examples circa the early 1930s.

Here are 8 items that my parents’ working-class generation grew up with. They make Al Gore look like a 6-pack of aerosol hairspray. Remember when this stuff was everyday and not a hip new trend?

  1. Cloth items: handkerchiefs, napkins, diapers. Brawny was, as yet, nowhere near the picture.
  2. Glass containers and household “appliances” (like a glass churn; how did that work?).
  3. Hand-washed clothes, often in a large tin tub or involving a rock.
  4. “Farmers” markets: otherwise known as “the place where my parents’ families bought their food.”
  5. Gardening: a necessity, not a hobby.
  6. Automatic hand-me-downs: in the case of my father, 12 kids = large-scale reducing, reusing, and recycling.
  7. Naturally preserved foods.
  8. The sun: a useful item for such things as drying clothes and maintaining optimal levels of vitamin D. Too bad it’ll burn out in 6 billion years, so good thing it got replaced by food supplements and petroleum.

MULATTO OF THE MONTH: JASMINE SANDERS

Ignore the fact that she dated Chris Brown—this half German, half Black model has a tattoo that reads, “Strength is nothing more than how well you hide your pain.” This makes Cinemulatto wonder where the tattoo’s hidden. Naming Jasmine the July 2013 Mulatto of the Month is a happy thing.